Setting: Two racially unprejudiced, un-sexist, middle-aged white male businessmen sit across from each other on opposite sides of an artificially marble colored, sanitary, square vinyl table reading the business section of the local newspaper while sipping slowly from their respective cups of designer brand decaffeinated coffee.
Guy#1 Hey did you hear about proposition 1724B?
Guy#2 Yea! That is such a serious issue!
Guy#1 Tell me about it, I got so worked up when I heard what was going on…
Two Hours later…
Guy#1 I completely agree with everything you said. We have to make sure something gets done about this!
Guy#2 I know! And it all starts when we cast our votes. That’s why I’m telling everyone I know to vote no on prop 1724B!
Guy#1 Wait a second, don’t you mean vote yes on prop 1724B?
Guy#2 No, we have to vote no on prop 1724B in order to solve the problem. Didn’t we just have a long conversation about this?
Guy#1 Yes we did, and I still agree with you, but I thought voting yes means solving the problem.
Guy#2 Oh, well I’ll just get out my voter information guide and we’ll just look it up!
Both men read in the Voter Information Guide booklet.
Guy#2 See, it says right here in the “Cons” section that this measure costs too much money and will only increase the problem while allowing corrupt politicians to have a field day at our expense.
Guy#1 I’m confused! It says here in the “Pros” section that this measure is the only way to keep this problem in check and that our current budget should be able to cover it with only a modest tax increase.
Guy#2 Well let’s read the description and see what it actually says.
Guy#1 That sounds like a good idea.
They turn the page to the description and begin reading.
Guy#2 Hey! This is confusing. I can’t tell what this measure is going to do or not do!
Guy#1 Yea, I see what you mean. It looks like they’re trying to please both sides at the same time.
Guy#2 But how can we tell which way we should vote in order to solve the problem?
Guy#1 I know! Why don’t we tune in to the biased media and see what their take on this is?
Guy#2 No, they’re too biased. Wait, I know! We could look for a flyer from a special interest group!
Guy#1 That never works, they only look after their own interests. They tell you to vote in the way that most benefits them, and not in the way that benefits everyone else.
Guy#2 Oh, I’d never thought of it that way.
Guy#1 I think we should listen to our local respected political leader and see what he or she thinks. Local political leaders have experience in these types of things and will be able to see through all the fine print and propaganda.
Guy#2 Well that’s true, but wont the political leader just tell us to vote how his or her buddies in power want or else the way the special interests who are keeping him or her in office want.
Guy#1 I suppose, but how else are we going to decide how to vote on this important issue about which both of us feel so strongly?
Guy#2 Well I suppose we could always flip a coin.
Guy#1 You’re a genius! Why didn’t I think of that?